The Adventures of Mitzi and Fritz! [Ep.1]

SafeCosmetics.org

I'm not gonna lie - I love make up. I love hair products. I really do - and I really love what I can do with both of them to make myself look however I want - that's half the fun of it all... But I'm disconcerted by this, and I think that something needs to be done about it. Join the campaign at SafeCosmetics.org!

The Nameless Girl: A Fairytale amongst Fairy Tales

Once upon a time, in the Outskirts of the Outer Zone, a farmer and his wife were expecting a child. The farmer, a cruel and selfish man, forced his young bride into marriage as soon as she had come of age, despite the fact that she did not love him. The farmer's wife loved someone else: a mirror maker who lived in the village.

It was the mirror-maker's child that she was to bear. When her husband learned of this, he went to the village, to the mirror maker's shop. The farmer smashed every mirror that had been made, before finally plunging a shard of glass into the mirror maker's heart.

After the farmer's wife had birthed the child, she too suffered the fate of the mirror shard, leaving the farmer a crying babe with ebony hair, a daughter that was not his. So hated by the farmer was this baby girl, that he did not see fit to grace her with a name. "Girl!" He would call her, "Damned girl, don't you ignore me!"

The farmer hated this girl, often whipping her back for the sake of entertainment - the scars left on her back seemed to shape a constellation of the Lady, Desdemona, the ill-fated one.

The marks seemed to tell a tale of her future, for when the Nameless girl turned ten, her guardian the farmer sold her to another man. In his care, she was unspeakably abused - acts of violence and violation made the girl introvert to herself - and she would often speak to her reflection in a mirror. The Nameless girl grew to love mirrors - the one person she could talk to was herself.

When the Nameless girl turned sixteen, the man to whom she had been sold broke the mirror to which she had so come to love. The Nameless girl, in an uncontrollable fit of rage, killed the man with a shard of glass from the mirror that he had broken - in doing so, a piece of glass so small that it couldn't be seen floated into the Nameless girl's eye. From that day hence, her blue eyes were ringed with silver, like two great mirrors.

The Nameless girl, no longer dictated, set off into the worlds, and settled one day, far from the edge of Nowhere, where she built herself an Ivory Tower. She left the Tower only to travel the lands and embrace what she loved best: mirrors. The Nameless girl traveled on the back of a great black dog, the size of a horse, and in her travels it was she who was the first to learn and practice the craft of Mirrors and Glass. The Nameless girl was the first to create the link between the mirrors, the opening between our world and the next.

And finally, a thousand years or more ago, the Nameless girl locked herself away in her Ivory tower, far from the Edge of Nowhere, with only her dog and her mirrors for company. No one has seen her since.

Legend has it, that the Nameless girl lives in her tower to this day still, un-aged all but for her hair which had turned shock-white, watching the lands of the Mirrorverse inside of her magic mirrors.

You are driving me absolutely crazy. I'm sorry, I am, because chances are if you knew I felt this way and I said it out loud, you would start to cry. Any time I ever try to express how I feel about something honestly, even when I'm being gentle about it, you STILL find a way to make it something HUGE, and turn me into the bad guy for feeling the way I do. I'm SORRY. But you know what, just because I move on from the subject doesn't mean that I feel any differently. I'm just not talking about it anymore, because apparently if I express myself I risk you bursting into tears. It drives me insane.

And then there's the fact that you keep walking back into things that do NOT need to be walked into. You walk right into them. Do you not learn your lesson the first time? Do you just not learn it, or are you ignoring it? Are you blinded by faith? Or are you a masochist? Because if that's it, I can't DEAL with it anymore. I just can't. It's not just you that's affected by it, you know, the people around you suffer too.

I just can't take it anymore. I love you tons and tons and tons. I'd do anything for you... but I just can't seem to catch a break.

Never sure what to say

September 11th, 2001.
I was in second grade, and to be honest I don't remember all that much about it. I do remember a few flashes of things but nothing much as a whole. I remember that we were doing something in my classroom - I'm not sure what it was, but we were definitely in class, not at recess or at specials... And then I remember that everyone was shouting about turning on the T.V.'s in the classrooms, and I don't remember my classmates reactions, but mostly I think we were all just confused. I don't think that we understood what was going on. But a lot of the teachers were crying, just... openly sobbing. We all got sent home early that day, and even when I did get home I didn't understand it. It's sad, because thinking back on it, I think most the younger students like myself were happy that day just because they got to leave school early; they couldn't even begin to comprehend what had happened.

Today I look back on it and sometimes I just want to cry. It's not like this was something that happened so far back in time that I wasn't around when it occurred: it's not like the Holocaust or Vietnam, or anything like that - I was actually there for this. And I didn't even understand it. My mother at the time was just getting out of being a fire marshal and into teaching. I know we don't live in New York, but I'm so glad that my mother wasn't firefighting at that time anyways. It would have made me just want to cry more than I already do at the thought of it all. It's just not fair.

Then I hear things about some pastor wanting to burn copies of the Qu'ran and I think... well, that's awfully stupid of you. Way to fix the problem (and I hope you're sensing my sarcasm through text). Yes, we were attacked. But were we attacked for our religion or for our nationality? If it's for our religion, were we attacked by another religion, or by another nationality? There's so much that I want to say, so much that I want to express that I'm just... I'm not sure how to phrase it. Whenever I try to phrase what I want to say I feel as if I sound uninformed or ignorant; and it's not that at all, or at least I should hope not. I just can't seem to say it. The most that I have worked out is this:

- You're entitled to believe what you want and no one should force you to believe what they believe.
- Sometimes, things are "right" for one person, but they don't fit with another. We may all come from the same mold, but the embellishments to each of us are different and are formed as we grow and learn.
- A select group of people does not reflect the views of a majority, the one exception being perhaps the Electoral College and THOSE people do not count because they are elected by a majority. No majority of people should be ostracized or punished because of a select group of people that happen to branch off from that majority.
- There is honestly no sense in violence, ever. The only reason that it happens is because one person starts it usually for no reason or for a lack-luster excuse that they happen to have (this does not mean that violence is necessary, it is an option they choose). From then, others feel the need to retaliate, whether to "prove a point" or for defense. And then it becomes a battle that truly lacks reason.
- Revenge does nothing good. Stop fooling yourself.
- Your way is not the only way: Get the f*ck over it.
- Get some perspective. All of you.
- Last but not least, if it's so Christian to turn the other cheek... why didn't we?

My prayers and thoughts go out to the families and friends who lost loved ones in the 9/11 attacks of '01. Perhaps the thoughts and prayers of a sixteen year old high school student don't mean much... but regardless, they're there.

- Georgiana <3.

Saturday [With Little Creative License]

I honestly haven't the slightest clue of what else to write about today except for just one thing: I can't wait for cooler weather. It's September the fourth and our highs are still in the 80's-90's, and to be honest I just hate hot weather. Seriously? It's just irritating to me. I've always preferred being cold to being hot, though being comfortable is most preferred over all. But if I had to pick the extremes (or extremes for my geographical region, at least), I would prefer the cold. Thank God fall is on the way. Jeans and turtlenecks: I miss you.

- Georgiana <3

I'm the Coolest Girl.

I am the coolest girl in the whole wide world
I know it but can't show it at all.
I am sick and tired of not knowing the places where I should belong
Its about time to prove them wrong
Give me a shot to show what I've got,
I'm a hell of a whole lot more
Than this frizzy hair,
These frumpy clothes I wear.

I am done with losing, on with choosing:
The coolest girl on the face of the planet,
The coolest bitch on earth god dammit,
The coolest chick you've ever seen or heard,
And you can try to break me down
But sorry guys, I'm sticking around,
I've thought about it and I've found
That I am the coolest
Girl.


A Very Potter Sequel <3.

Epic awesomeness

It has been discovered that me and my friend Tim are made of epic awesomeness. We discovered this in our conversation on the phone, both very tired and not feeling our best near 11:44 at night before a school day. We discovered this quite easily and we have arrived at the conclusion that we form an epically awesome team, and when people see us, they cannot help but be awed by our awesomeness. They're just like "hey. god. they're so effing awesome."

Because we're epically awesome.
Obviously.

- Georgiana <3

I am me, I am not me.

Sometimes I look into a mirror and I don’t find myself looking back at me. It is my face in many ways, and yet there is something there that is completely and utterly foreign to me. It’s literally as though another person were hiding behind the glass of the mirror, and looking at me instead of my reflection. There is something peculiar about the whites of my eyes that don’t seem quite right: there is something there that stands out to me and yet blends in with the rest of my features. It is I. It is not I. I am not sure who this person is, or why they are lurking in the shadows of the whites of my eyes. I am not sure why they hide behind the darkness cast on my face by a dark curtain of hair falling in front of it. I am puzzled by the cold ring of grey that circles the green of my irises and keeps the color trapped within a wall, for that is not I, either. The more I stare at myself, the hollower I become. Shadows pitted at the shallow areas of my face, pressing deeper into my skin. Her lips part, as do mine. And yet I cannot help but thing that the two of us were going to say completely different things, following the same train of thought that lead me to this puzzling conclusion. I am me. I am not me.

- Georgiana <3

Well, it's not Hogwarts

That's for sure. First day of school was today, and it actually wasn't too terribly bad. I really think that I'm going to like my writing through literature class, as well as my chorus class - my teacher is a new one, and he seems pretty damn cool to me. We're allowed to call him Mr. G, and for the purposes of this blog that's what I'm going to call him. I think I'm going to like that class best, maybe tied with writing through literature. Most my chorus class (me included) thinks that he's gay - not that we're bothered by it, we just want to know, you know? We're a school for the arts, so we're very tolerant and more accepting than most other schools, I think. But there's no way we'd ask - we're not going to be rude, and it's not really any of our business, even if we are dying to know.

And this yer my plan is to try to be much more organized and well rounded than I was last year. I don't want to sacrifice my free time outside of school, but this is my junior year, and I HAVE to get good grades. I seriously might just die if I don't - cause this is, of course, the year they count for college. That kind of sucks, but I mean I knew that life was going to catch up with me eventually... anyways.

I woke up this morning nervous about my junior year. The first thing I told myself was "there's no use in being scared", and quickly realized that I was right. There really isn't any use in being scared - there might be reason for it, sure, but no use. And after that I felt okay. Hopefully I've found my new mantra for the new school year - gotta love it.

- Georgiana <3

The Heart: It beats, it freezes, it breaks.

Me? Yeah. I've got a problem with love. I've got a major problem with love, and you know what the sad part about it is? Most of my problems with it that I've had previously with it all aren't even my fucking problems. They're everyone elses. EVERY. ONE. ELSES. I'd like to think that I'm the kind of person that people can come to with their problems and things like that. I like to think that I'm the kind of person that people can be seriously honest with about things. And that makes me happy sometimes because it makes me think that I must have done something right, that I must have done something to give them a reason to trust me.

But sometimes its just like... wow. I've been hearing the same things from the same people for so long, that I already know what they're going to say before they say it. As soon as I see that expression on their faces, or notice the way that they're typing something... I know exactly what the problem is. You know, I'd love to say that my first instinct is to become gravely worried about them. But it's not. It's the desire to slap them and scream "GET THE FUCK OVER IT ALL READY GOD DAMMIT I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO THIS SHIT FOR MONTHS AND ITS ALWAYS THE SAME THING, IT'S NOT EVEN A NEW PROBLEM! YOU SAY THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN WORD FOR WORD AND I AM SICK OF IT! IT'S MAKING MY EARS BLEED!" But to be honest, I'm too nice of a person to say that. I can be a bitch sometimes, and I'll admit it. I won't try to deny that - it would be pointless to. But I'm too nice to do that. Especially to someone I care about.

I mean, it isn't that I don't care. I do, obviously I do, or I wouldn't be sloshing through something on that note with someone. I do care. But there is only so much that one person can take of one topic for so long, you know what I mean? It's like having a song on repeat for a few days, or even only a few hours - by that point you know all the words, you've heard the melody before, and eventually you just get sick of it, and you can't listen to that song one more fucking time, or your brain might explode. There's just only so much one person can take. And trust me, at the moment, this is just barely touching the tip of the heap that is currently on my mind - and god is it smothering. It's just pressing down on my brain and my heart, and my lungs, and it's making me feel ridiculously low, over something(s) that is probably ridiculous to feel this way over.

And then there's the fact that everywhere I seem to turn I'm seeing romance. Fine. Whatver. That's great. Good for you. But do me a favor and get some class, keep it private so the rest of us don't have to see it. Just because you're saying something online and you aren't right next to the other person doesn't mean that PDA over the computer isn't still PDA. So just cut it out or keep it private, because either way, you're making me fucking wretch. Kthnx.

And then there's the whole kind of issue with the me always being alone in the fact that I don't date. No one else gets it. They say they do, but no, they honestly don't. They might sympathize or empathize with me, for a while, but they don't understand it. At all. And there's no way that they ever possible could because they aren't me. Someone can say that they don't date, but going on hiatus, or taking a break doesn't mean that you don't date. It just means you're taking a break. When I say I don't date, I mean that I have not as well as I will not. I don't plan on it. It's not the way that my mind operates. Or my body for that matter. No one will understand the fear that comes along with me considering dating. If I know someone like-likes me, I get nervous and twitchy. If that goes away and I get comfortable with the idea, because I realize I have control over what happens, well it doesn't last long especially if I actually get asked out. Then I feel absolutely terrible. Full-blown panic attack. Shaking knees, sick to my stomach, sweaty palms, and if it gets really bad, even a fever. It just happens. I literally get sick, especially if I say yes. The one time I said yes to someone in seventh grade, that's what happened.

In seventh or eighth grade when I thought I might give a guy a chance, the same thing happened, though it didn't help he kept trying to kiss me when I didn't want to be kissed. So yes, I am sixteen. No I do not date. Yes, I have never been kissed. And the vast majority of the time I am perfectly okay with this - It doesn't bother me, and in fact I prefer it. It's a good sense of freedom, you know?

And yet even then throughout all of this, I am still an absolute sap. I'm a hopeless romantic. Mostly? It's just not fair. I have these great and beautiful fantasies of things that I'd want to have happen to me. But I get so scared, and because of that I half think they never will. Maybe my fantasies are far too great to live up to any realistic expectations. Maybe it doesn't help that somewhere in the back of my mind I think there's a part of me that thinks all boys have ulterior motives. Maybe I just think the world is fucked up. I don't know. But it makes me sad to think that I'm so scared of change that it will never happen. And it makes me sad to think that I'll always be alone. There's nothing you can say, no matter who you are, to make me believe otherwise in this sense. I know you're there for me. But sometimes a person needs more.

New blog look?

Eh I kind of like it. I love the banner. That took longer to make than I'd expected for it to, but hey, it came out pretty nice, didn't it? That's a rhetorical question by the way, and so there's no need for you to answer. Unless of course you really do like it to. Then you can shower me with compliments. Haha, kidding, but yeah, I like it. I went all purple-y. But I like purple, yeah, don't you? Again, rhetorical. Purple wins. End of story.

Anyways I figure I might as well go ahead and play around with it. I dunno why but there's something about it that I just can't get right, something about it that's always a little off from what I had actually wanted. It doesn't look bad or anything like that, it just wasn't exactly what I'd been picturing. -sigh- Oh well. It's good enough at least. And it's not like I'm doing anything else at the moment but just sitting here anyways. I painted my fingernails black earlier today and my toenails are sparkly purple (Told you purple wins).

I've got an icy hot patch slapped on my back, because lets face it, back pain is a bitch - and yes, teenagers do get back pain, someone I was talking to the other day, an older lady, seemed surprised by this, and I was like "no shit, sherlock." Of course I didn't say that, I've got more respect for my elders - most of the time at least - but I was just shocked. That's like thinking that only old people have arthritis. That's just stupid - my cousin has it and she isn't even thirty yet. I mean, it's just stupid. Whatever.

I've actually managed to be eating properly the past few weeks and I'm glad of it, and i hope that I keep the streak up. Open house is on Monday, hurrah I guess. I have GOT to get out of that Gargoyle's math class or I'll die, I am NOT dealing with her two years in a row. And I want Honors US history so bad, dammit, I hope we can fix those two details, I mean, seriously. I've got a reeses and a kit kat with me right now, so yay for that. I wish light reflecting off my cell would stop playing tricks on me and making me think I have a text message, because that's getting old. I've finished my summer assignment but read no other books yet this summer, which makes me sad, because I was looking forward to that.

School starts Wednesday and then I'll be back to the monotonous routine of waking up in the mornings, heading to that god forsaken establishment, and then coming home, doing homework, and doing it all over again the next day. And then they wonder why some teens are miserable all the time. Whatever. I think today went well but could have been better. I want to have an amazing day. I really do. Without drama, without panic, even for a moment - I just want to have an amazing day. God, what I would give to have an amazing go at school this year - especially the first week though, dear God help me with the first week. I think if I can just get through that, I'll be setting myself up for a good year. I seriously think that I want to re-read the Harry Potter series from start to finish, for real. I'd have to go and find my copies of all the earlier books though, I think they're downstairs on the family shelves.

And this comes to mind immediately mostly because of the fact that ABC Family is showing their Harry Potter weekend thing that seems to crop up every few weeks or so - they're big on that, and I'm glad, I just wish they were a little more well spaced out? If that even makes any sense. God I've been sneezing a lot lately and I hope I don't have a cold. At the moment I just kind of want to breathe in the smell of menthol and just kind of hold it in my nostrils, rawr. And I keep listening to Freedom by George Michaels and Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears For Fears, and its like... woah. Blast from the past. And so I think that just about sums it up at the moment. Go me, haha.

- Georgiana. <3

There's glitter on my lips and it's fallen in my coffee

There's glitter on my lips and it's fallen in my coffee,
Red sparkles drifting about on a sea of melted toffee. ♥
What a productive morning.

Yeah that was my facebook status this morning, mostly because it was all true. I did a make up contest entry for GlamourDollEyes on YouTube. I love the way it turned out though, it's really big and loud and out there. In case you haven't noticed, I like big, loud and out there. It's inspired by Las Vegas - that's the theme at least, but mine personally is based on Phantom of the Opera and Casinos, just in general. I'm really proud of it, and even if I don't win the contest I'd love to hear people tell me what they thought of it.

Though I've been watching Natasha (Myeyeshadowisodd on YouTube) on her BlogTV, all afternoon, and she's totally trashed right now and it's kind of hilarious. She's adorable, and loud and out there. It's just funny xD Ah I should do this more often, it's genuinely amusing to me. And it makes me feel not half as paranoid all the effing time. :) Oh, wonderful.

- Georgiana <3

Scene Queens and Drama Kings

Decided to draw an alter-ego of sorts, I suppose you could say. Not much to it but torn leather, combat boots and explosives.

- Georgiana <3

HI VINNY.

Yes. Vinny. xD I've been informed that I need to give him his minute of fame because he is obviously "my favorite black person ever". That is all.

Who is the monster and who is the man?

I guess I just felt the need to write something, and I didn't really know what, or why for that matter. It's funny - should a writer have to know why the want to write something or should they just write it? And if they're just going to write it, does it really matter what they've written unless they had a reason for writing it? I guess my brain is just majorly working over time or something like that, because I just can't seem to catch a break. Like, at all. It feels like I'm about to totally swerve off of my train tracks or something like that, and there's no warning for when its going to happen...

Honestly I think I discovered something true about myself today, and I don't think that I like it. I don't think that I like it one bit: I'm scared of everything. Everything. The only difference being is that sometimes I have more control over my fear than I do at other times... unfortunately "other times" seem to be cropping up more and more and closer together than they used to when I was little... before i learned to be afraid of so many things. For instance, a few minutes ago it occurred to me: I'll be a junior this year, and though sometimes I get an overwhelming feeling of excitement about this, there are other times where all I can feel is the utter terror of the idea. And then, in considering that I would be a junior, I realized that we were coming up on the year 2011. Which is only one year away from 2012. Now I try not to be superstitious about that kind of thing, but... I just can't help but be scared of the idea sometimes, you know? I guess in some part of everyone its just natural human instinct. I mean I know there have been 'prophecies' or whatever, time and time again, predicting the end of the world or whatever - I lived through whatever that thing in 1999 was? But I was too young to remember it, or fear it for that matter, I don't think I'd ever even heard of it until last year when mom told me about it. But I just can't shake that uneasy feeling... and I hate it. It stops me from doing so many things that I want to do, or at least try to do.

I went to Williamsburg with my family and I had a panic attack there. Why? I couldn't tell you. Because I wasn't home? I had people I knew there with me, people who loved and cared about me, and even then... even then I was panicked. And at the mall with my BFFL, even then, for a brief while, I got struck by a panic I couldn't place. And even sometimes like now, when I'm sitting in my room, I'll be at home, in a place I'm so familiar with, and even then there's no totally escaping it. I am so sick of it holding me back, but I just can't seem to do anything more about it - and trust me, dammit, have I tried.

And do you know, do you know what makes it worse? When I say I'm having a panic attack and people are just like "Calm down!" Well you know what, FUCK THAT. It doesn't work like that, not at all! If I had the ability to make myself be calm, trust me, I would be doing it already! I mean, who wants to feel that way? Its not like I have a choice in the matter or anything like that, and its not like I can just "calm down". People don't get that it seriously hurts... I become physically sick. I pass out sometimes. I just.. hate how people can't honestly take an emotional problem as something that can seriously make you sick. But you know what? I wouldn't, not for one day, honestly wish that kind of pain on someone. I wouldn't. Because it wouldn't be right, and I'd feel terrible knowing that I'd inflicted it on someone else. Do I want them to understand, yeah, fuck yeah, but I mean... that would just be terrible to suffer through. Trust me, I know.

And on another note: People who make decisions, and make choices, have to live with their consequences. So if you realize that, why do you keep trying to change it without changing a damn thing? Because it doesn't work that way. It goes one way, or it goes the other. It doesn't help to say you're sorry when you're not, because if you were honestly sorry you would feel like you'd made a mistake, and you'd change it. But you don't think you've made a mistake, and so it doesn't matter how much you miss me. It's not like you're sorry. Just because you're sad doesn't mean that you're sorry. And it doesn't mean that you've tried to fix a damn thing. You're theo ne at fault here, no one else, and to be honest the only reason no one has said a damn thing about it is because they're afraid of hurting someone's feelings - not necessarily yours. But in general, of ruining everything. Not like there's much left to ruin anyways, it's basically gone through the mill once or twice. But seriously, a wake up call is needed, and were it not for the sake of having to preserve feelings here, trust me, you would be getting one. This isn't me trying to be mean. But seriously? Seriously. Wake up. Hypocrisy doesn't flatter you, and excuses are getting old.

Georgiana <3

Polyvore attempt?!

So. I'm determined to get this to polyvore. Not really a post, but whatever.
So ignore this? Unless you like the adorable photo.

And the dearest love in all the world

I'll admit it. I want to ask you how you are. I'd like to make sure that you're okay, I really would... but I don't know how. How am I supposed to? I'm half-scared that you are, or will get, mad at me. I'm half scared that if I try to make you feel better, about whatever it is that's upsetting you, that I'll just make you more upset and that is the last thing that I want to do. Maybe it's fake to you, but you're wrong. It's sincere, just uncertain. But that doesn't make it insincere. I hope you do feel better.

- Georgiana <3.

Whatever.

Sometimes I feel really left out. I don't think that I would honestly ever say that I did... just because if I said something about it, I think that I would make other people feel bad. I don't want to make other people feel bad, so I don't say anything. But I still feel left out.

- Georgiana <3.

When I rule the world, I'll plant flowers

The beginning of summer vacation really isn't boding well for me so far - see, I can understand having no plans and being ridiculously bored at he end of the summer - you know, that point in time right at the end of summer vacation where for some reason, some mad part of your brain actually wants to return to school? Yeah, that part. However, I'm pretty sure that when you start to get that feeling three days into summer vacation, you're gonna have a problem. I wish I had more plans, but unfortunately I don't. My best friend lives across town and her mom, for whatever reason, won't even let her come to my house yet. That really pisses me off. What's worse, is that my fourteen year old brother has people over at the house every day - his friends all live in our neighborhood. Now that just isn't fair. I know that it's not like he means to do it, but in a way, it's almost taunting. Ridiculous, isn't it?

The most that I can say that I've done yet in terms of things that could be considered "fun" is that I went out with my mom: we saw the new Karate Kid last night at like Midnight, and my mom was shocked to learn that I had never seen the original. To be honest, I kind of wanted to laugh and say "Uh, well, you were there through my whole childhood, so you think that you'd be aware of that."

It was a good movie though, or I definitely thought so; a little long, perhaps, but that might have been because I sat there in my seat, on the very edge, while I watched the movie, even though I really had to use the bathroom - so if it was that good, eh, forget the fact that it was long. I'd recommend it. We went out to eat at Rockfish, and tried oyster nachos, which I found that I actually really loved. My mom bought me a dress and a gorgeous pair of boots at Urban Outfitters and then three Alice in Wonderland t-shirts from Hot Topic - although we found out that my favorite store clerk and friend, Sarah, got moved to a different city... that made me sad. And then, last but not least: my mom and I cannot go to the mall without going to Barnes and Noble. It's just physically impossible.

However, when I went to purchase my books of choice, the cashier started rambling onto me about what college I was in... uh... I was a little confused and had to explain to him that I was only a rising junior in high school. You know, that was when HE started to look a little confused, because apparently my books of choice are rather unusual "light reading" for someone my age, big shocker there. I bought Dante's Inferno, Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie, The Color of Water by James McBride, a book of selected poems by Alfred Lord Tennyson, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith, and The Looking Glass Wars by Frank Beddor. Also, I bought an Alice in Wonderland coloring book.You would think that have been clue enough that I was younger than I looked... either that, or for some reason he thought I was a single mother. Who am I to know?

Anyways, I know that i have half a dozen books somewhere in my house to which I would have loved to read, but instead they gather dust... why is that? Well, because during the school year, time is a mean thing that comes back to bite you on the ass. Hopefully I will have time this summer to put a prominent dent in that pile of books. Summer reading, here I come!

I can see what they don't see in you.

And finally, school is OVER. DONE. HALLELUJAH. Good bye, sophomore year and hello junior year. Granted, I doubt that they'll be that much different, one from the other, but so long as I don't get the same math teacher I had last year (considering she also teaches Algebra II, and I PASS GEOMETRY!) I think I'll be fine. Besides, we already know at least one thing for sure and that is that one of my electives next year is most definitely Writing through Literature. As if that weren't the most awesome, spectacular thing on the face of the planet, it gets better: I'm in the same class as Kelly! YAY. I didn't have a class with my best friend sophomore year and let me tell you, that is a pain in my arse. Just saying. But we did have lunch together, so hopefully we'll have lunch together this up-and-coming year too.

So I passed all of my exams. I passed all my classes. I waited and waited for summer to arrive, and now that it's finally here, I find myself with no plans. At all. No, really, all summer, as far as I am aware, I have no plans - not even so much as a haircut. That's rather depressing if you ask me. Now, see, I have no problems in lounging around my house and doing nothing... but if I do that for too long, I might end up going more insane than I already am, and we just can't have that, for the safety of others and myself. I'm hopefully supposed to do something with Kelly this weekend, but only if Ms. T allows it, and I really hope that she does considering that it feels like I haven't seen Kelly (outside of school) in forever and a day. And if you are a teenager in high school, hopefully you can relate in me saying that seeing your friends in school is different in seeing them out of school.

I just started watching a new series, but I don't know if I'm going to like it or not. It's definitely interesting. I just... dunno. Meh, whatever. I'm watching it now, hopefully it'll turn into some new obsession or something.

The trouble with schools is they always try to teach the wrong lessons

Ugh, it's around that time of year again where I'm getting mixed signals from everyone and everything: we're right upon the brink of summer, and so students all around me are rejoicing, and teachers are too for that matter - trust me I know, my mother is one the few and the proud. So you can see how the majority of people would be thrilled to be getting out of school soon and into the pool-area instead, or going to the beach or something... and then you take into consideration the fact that most students are also currently going through exams - I know I am. And our exam schedule this year is kind of weird, if you ask me - this upcoming Monday is memorial day, and so of course no one's going to be in school, but unfortunately for students at my school it means that we started testing yesterday, and will continue testing all through next week. Fun, right? Four hour exams, lunch, and then a two hour review session each day. Now that is my idea of fun. I truly hope that you're sensing just how steeped that text is in sarcasm.

Yesterday was my Civics and Economics exam... now you see, I love history - really, I do, World History was a breeze last year... but I hate civics with a passion. I mean, really, I do. I get that it's important and everything, sure, and that it's pretty much everything that our country depends on (Thank you, Ms. S for beating that into our heads :] Now where's that civics party?)... but really, I would just rather not had to learn it, or at least learned a more condensed version or something. To be honest, I'm pretty sure that watching Law and Order on TNT is one of the only reasons I probably passed that exam (IF I passed it... I better have). Civics was an EOC this year, so that kinda sucked even more because it meant that my teacher didn't write the test...

Seriously, I find standardized testing extremely idiotic: We have a curriculum which each individual teaches in their own individual style, with their own emphasis' on certain points... and then you expect a generalized test to be enough to gauge how much a student has learned in a year? I mean no offense or anything, but let's take everything that you do in your job, assign different people with different personalities and education/experience levels, sum what you do up really quickly and watch all those different people put emphasis on different things, and then give the people they taught a generalized test. I guarantee that some scores will be higher than others solely based on the teaching style of the teacher in question. Teachers should write their own tests based on the emphasis of the things they taught over the course of the year - that's not to say that the state shouldn't give us a curriculum to follow, but it's not as though the state is in the heads of the teachers, or the students... I mean, that's just absolutely assumptive, and not at all intelligent. You want to know how much each student has learned in a year? Great. How about you actually test them on what the hell it was that they were taught.

No offense or anything, but people involved in the department of education, or whatever it happens to be called officially, are so steeped in politics that they don't even understand the meaning of the word 'education' anymore.

Now let me tell you, my English exam went swimmingly today - but I kind of expected that. For one thing, words are my trade, and for another, my teacher wrote the exam. There wasn't a question on there that she hadn't taught us this year, and so of course we knew what we were talking about. I mean, that's the way it should be. Even better, once we had finished our exam, our teacher Ms. J let us have a poetry cafe, and that was awesome - in addition to the exam and what we knew, we all got to do something that we enjoyed as well. Now, to me, that's what makes a teacher great: who can get the information through your head, get you to understand it, and can get you to apply it.

I'm probably one of the few people out there who actually loves exams... and hates them at the same time. If it weren't for exams, I probably wouldn't pass my grade some years, not because I'm unintelligent, but because I'm somewhat lazy with homework and I know it... class work? No problem. Tests? Bring 'em on. But after I get home from my six-eight hours in school, don't EVEN think that I'm doing more work. Sorry, but i have a life. So I love exams because they help me pass and I always have gotten good scores on them... I also love them because it means that for a full week (and a half, as the current case may be) we get no homework from our teachers other than to study for the subject of the exam that we're taking the next day. It's pretty awesome. And then again I hate exams because... well, why does anyone hate exams? Sitting for four hours, not allowed to do anything, stress, the worry you might not pass... etc.

I get to take my geometry exam tomorrow... x_x I hate math. Math hates me.
Wish me luck.

- Georgiana <3

Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe

My name is Georgiana and I am sixteen years old: it's safe to say that I am an extremely strange teenager. Next to me, there are five copies of Teen Vogue, and fourteen issues of Seventeen magazine. There is also an issue of Game Informer with the latest article on the up-coming game, Fable III (which I have been reading and re-reading somewhat obsessively). In my book-bag, there is a copy of Night, by Elie Weisel, All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque and a copy of Dante's Inferno, by Dante Allegheri. My bedside table is where I keep all of my light reading that I am currently making my way through: Mansfield Park, by Jane Austen, and Princess of Glass by Jessica Day George (The cover of which was most viciously torn apart inside of my book bag, and which has left me quite devastated).

On my iPod, you will find such a vast array of music that would quite likely blow your mind - and I assure you, there is probably a song or two on there that definitely needs an explanation. On my most frequently played songs list: 'What Is This Feeling?' from the Wicked Soundtrack, 'In the Mood' by Glenn Miller, 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' by Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell, 'Blackbird' by The Beatles, 'Dear Maria, Count me In' by All Time Low, 'Do it To it' by Cherish and 'Granger Danger' from A Very Potter Musical. If that isn't variety, I'm not entirely sure that I understand the meaning of the word.

In terms of movies and television: My favorite television series is Doctor Who, shown on the BBC, and the only "reality" T.V. I watch is Ghost Hunters and Scare Tactics, both on the Sy-Fy Network (SciFi for everyone who knew of it before these past few previous months). I watch Star Trek: The Next Generation on BBC and on SyFy, wherever I happen to find it on TV. The only popular show I can honestly say I watch is Bones. My other favorite television show is actually somewhat old, in that it hasn't aired new episodes for a few years now: Charmed still remains amazing. I like the movies Lorna Doone and Sherlock Holmes.

I go to a school for artistically gifted students, specifically concentrated on chorus, and I hate mathematics. More than anything I want to be a writer; my strangest fantasy is to either play Nessa Rose in a production of Wicked, or Meg Giry in a production of the Phantom of the Opera (though I may be S.O.L. on that one, considering that I have no proper training in dance). I have been to Las Vegas and Los Angeles, and have no desire to go to either place again. I love both the ocean and te mountains, but I've always loved being in water. I have autographed photo's of Emma Watson, Christopher Paolini, Bonnie Wright and Peter Facinelli - as well as an autographed program from my recent excursion to see Wicked show live in my state.

My idea of a 'wild party' is having my best friend over to my house, and staying up all night taking pictures and watching movies: we also roleplay on forums together a lot. At the mall, the first place me and Kelly (best friend, FYI) go to is Hot Topic, followed soon after by an excursion to the court and then to Barnes and Noble. By that point, we've spent our money on books, hair bows, and of course, Chinese Food and Mocha Frappucino's. I love writing English papers, and I hate getting stuck behind kids in the hallway who feel the need to walk at 0.2 miles an hour. Unlike most teenagers: I love to read and write, I don't write "wit b@d gr@amerrr, lyk d1s" (thank God, right?), I can live without my cellphone but not without my iPod and Justin Beiber kinda makes me want to gag a little. I think it's quite safe to say that I am, indeed, 'unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe'.

And so if I've bored you, intrigued you, mystified you, entertained you or other by this point - at least I got you to read to the end of this post. ;) And I'd be flattered if you continued to read the musings that come to my mind - even if I am just a sixteen year old girl who is all together a little different.

- Georgiana <3